Dolly de los Reyes

Euphoria. Dejection. A canopy of emotions blanketed my being. Which way should I go? Whose words should I heed? I immersed myself into this self-made inferno, noting the circumstances in the past which had brought me into great pain and humiliation. The smile on my face stayed on the surface; it never reached my heart. The anguish in me flowed deep through my soul, mercilessly killing the once beautiful girl within. Memories. Indelible marks of the past. I have enough reasons to go melancholic, but I have chosen not to. If these emotions were torture in the past, there’s only one thing left to do but to turn them into the most precious of pearls. The trauma hidden in the chamber of secrets continues to prowl in me like a famished beast. Blood gushes out of my wounds. Terror grips me momentarily. But despite all these, I still have enough reason to go on living. The present gives way to HOPE. Indeed! It opens doors for major changes and giant leaps of faith. It does as it does to mi

A cheerful laughter echoes through the walls, breaking the room’s silence. To everyone, she exudes joy. But the real score? She’s scarred… deep within. Talk about scars. Aren’t these the most daunting evidences of a once messy state? What has gone wrong? What has gone right? Looking around, one would see a diverse group of people and most often than not, with each one showing that big scar deeply etched on one’s being. What has been the reason for surviving? Shame. Every cruelty exhibited, every mortal sin committed, every foul word uttered… all of these could have been the triggers. It is easy for one to give in to human slander, but difficult indeed to mend what has been broken. This gives birth to shame with those awful moments of casting one’s eyes down the earth. Is it beneficial? Certainly not, but the shame that is built up definitely adds up to the scar. What has been the reason for living? Dirt. The dirt on one’s sinful being. The very dirt that pins one down from the slight

DOLLY: I keep pushing, but nothing happens. I keep pulling, but I most often quit. Two opposing fields tearing me apart. Two conflicting poles breaking into my sanity. Life is complex, I admit, clearly in stark contrast to what I used to believe in. That life is pretty simple? Nah. You haven’t truly lived if you have chosen to stay in that hypocritical illusion. Tell me when and how did life become that easy. Not at all, with all its dark secrets and silent wishes. With the mournful laments and soul-breaking wailings. The excitement of growing up gets stained with bursts of melancholy. That element of life called wisdom gets busted with dilemmas. Prayer itself gets knocked down by doubts. Tell me when and how did life become easy, so I could put an end to this Calvary. Tell me how children learned to forgive almost instantly so I could stop my heart from bleeding. Tell me of tales from battles won, of chivalric sacrifices, of cunning lies and troubling truths, and of shatter

With their plainly false accusations, you can't be Jesus to these people at work, can you? A river of tears – My eyes were tired and swollen from weeping. I was in deep agony. I was cursing them in my mind. “Those craps...” that was how I reacted. I suffered a lot in the workplace. Several colleagues despised me as much as my students showered me with love. I was stabbed, labeled, ridiculed, and was the victim of rumors being spread around like virus. And the oddest thing there was, everything was plainly false accusation. I was simply the “lucky” recipient of their vile mouths. Hold grudges? Been there. Take revenge? I had thought of that. What about forgive? Accept? Love? “ Come to me and I will give you rest.” I waited. God did it for me. Gradually, He healed my wounds. I obliged and clung to His promise of victory. LOVE – He would constantly remind me to look at my bashers with affection. Moments of doubt would sometimes creep in, but He remained faithful to His promise t

The first question which the priest and the Levite asked was: "If I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?" But...the good Samaritan reversed the question: "If I do not stop to help this man, what will happen to him?”   ― Martin Luther King Jr. Being able to reverse the situation and letting go of the “I” mentality has paved the way to the attainment of peace for many of us. It is in this sense that we unconsciously practice selfless love, the outcome creating a thousand ripples of constructive changes. A man in tattered clothes, shivering in the cold, with palms raised to the heavens for mercy’s sake, is in need of help, something tangible that would satisfy his worldly hunger. Praying alone wouldn’t be of much help, the moment calling one of us to do some concrete action. A family member, struck by illness, needs special care and attention. Giving the prescribed medication, taking care of his personal needs, and simply encouraging him with a love one’s pres

“I see You, Lord in sorrow and in happiness. I see You in the glory of sweet success. I see You, Lord every hour every day. I can see You, Lord whenever I pray.” I first heard this song three years ago, sweetly sung by a student in the school where I am currently working. I fell in love with the song right away and found myself hastily landing on the world of LSS (Last Song Syndrome). Two years after, it became my favorite song for the Lord. It was when I was struggling to breathe, holding on to dear life for the devastation that those unprecedented circumstances had placed me into.   It has been God’s lullaby to me since then. Apparently, it taught me one thing – to see God in every chapter of my life. Gone were the feel good days when I was safely tucked into my mother’s bosom. Living independently means facing things squarely and bearing the breastplate of courage and willpower. A single tear would prove useless if it means giving up. To whom do I cling to? To God, to my Father,

“My heart begs for consolation. Papa Lord, please take away this nagging feeling of depression in me.” With a downcast aura, I bent down and cried. Our life’s tribulations come and go, and like ripples of waves on water’s surface, how we react to each situation will most likely determine the outcome of such. I never would have known how emotionally immature I was if not for those trials that used to veer me away from my comfort zone. And as always the case, I got to keep in touch with myself. First impression – I would often receive the feedback of me being cheerful . True, I am. But little do they know that I am pretty normal, someone who isn’t exempted from the pangs of negativities surrounding me. How, then, do I handle toxic emotions? EXPERIENCE – I got everything from here. God sent instruments who had played their roles well during the “trial-and-error” stage. It was never easy, but it was worth the pain. Feel your emotion – This was my life string when I was extremely tried. I

In one of his teachings, Bro. Arun Gogna, the senior Feast builder of Feast Alabang   (Light of Jesus Family founded by Bo Sanchez), defined success as a means of achieving your dreams while “significance” is helping others achieve their dreams. He shared the secret of all teachers through this quote:  The secret of teaching is to appear that you have learned all your life what you have just learned today. So a teacher teaches with enthusiasm and learns with the students at the same time. The example given was their own marriage. He was a concert director and a very good one at that. That was the reason why their marriage that took place several years ago is still being talked about now. It was perfect; every moment was carefully planned, and everybody felt the presence of the Holy Spirit and the solemnity of their marriage. They were both very happy. A few months after their marriage, several would-be couples approached them and asked for help to make their wedding as good as the

When the good do nothing, evil prevails. Talk about harmony. It isn’t much of a big word at present. Murder. Suicide. Corruption. Treason. What else do we have here? Poverty. Destruction. Death. At certain points, we each had come to a halt to ponder on the surrounding chaos. We must have felt a strong urge to act on, to partake of, and to care for our doomed nation. But the harsh reality has always sucked us into the dark vacuum of indifference. “What the heart has conceived, the mind gives birth.” Does this also apply to our supposed active involvement in propagating the change that our country desperately needs? Yes, and it is only in doing so that true change will finally kick in. When the good do small things in every possible way, big results are on their way; the Law of Compounding will surely take effect. We need not belong to the authorities to effect change. We can start right now, regardless of our race, age, gender preference, and status in life. No act is too small if it

There are a few people who secretly despise me. Why? I really don’t know. They have their own “twisted” reasons, which I am of no interest of digging. Life has been so good to me, not without its trials of course. Let’s just put it this way: A huge boulder of rock comes, but almost after a few moments of struggle, my Father comes to my aid. Then a wave of jubilation comes, and my Father never fails to throw a terrific party. Wow! Totally amazing, isn’t it? The bottom line is pretty simple. Life will always have its crest and trough; how you react to every change is what spells the difference. Would you remain standing tall when the best thing to do is to bow down? Or would you be a wooden canoe that floats along the current of water, but nevertheless serving its purpose? Your life now is yours. Mold it, live it well, but never allow a single day of living it without our Father. Trust that He will give you a heavenly blast.