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"You can do it." "No, I can't"

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(A soliloquy written 3 years ago) “You can do it." "No, I can’t!” See? That is how I deal with myself. Confusions, struggles, headaches nag me everyday. I’ve been serving God for 7 years. I started with the Charismatic Renewal Movement community when I was in my 3rd year in college. When I moved to Manila, I was ushered to join the Singles for Christ community. Now, I’m a happy member of the Light of Jesus community, founded and headed by Bro Bo Sanchez himself. The road I am taking is clearly the path that I have chosen. But it doesn’t end there. Am I a happy person? Yes, I am. But it’ll take a long way for me to proudly announce to the world that I am 100% contented with my life now. The root is simple but deadly. SIN. Like a wingless butterfly, I am crippled. My heart has been in anguish for a long time. I don’t know how and why I entered into this state. Deep in my heart, I know that God is the lone answer. But still I cannot bring myself to tota