Dolly de los Reyes

“Emo ka na naman.” One would jokingly say these words, often inducing laughter that might have not totally reached the eyes. Or so I thought. Day 3, Saturday – I led myself to Function Room 5, which then housed people eager to discover the secrets on how to protect one from emotional hurts. And my, what a crowd! “Too many hurting people, eh?” I told myself. So how does this go, I mean, protecting your being from the pangs of pain? I was led to realize 3 very important secrets, which actually can be the very things that would save us from more pains. 1. Hurt is everywhere. Life is and will always be difficult. That’s plainly simple as it is. But having the courage to go on will spell a big difference. The enemy’s forces will surely be there to knock you out, but God wouldn’t give up fulfilling His agenda for you, because He meant you to: discover your purpose, develop your God-given potentials, and reach your destiny . 2. Hurting to heal. “The only difference between a stepping

They’re dead . Who cares? Is it my fault that they be buried in the filthy land of the unfortunate? They’re gone . So what? Do I have to shed a tear to show the world they’re dear? We’ve lost precious lives. But we didn't know them whose lives no one remembers. But they’re our brethren. Oh really? I’ve known no family since I was ten. Lend a hand, reach out. My hands are full. Can’t you see I’m busy? Fool! Show the world you care! Ha, ha! You have the guts. Well, you’re driving me nuts. Step up. Open up! I’ve always been closed So leave and perturb me not. The world needs you. No! Your lies are yours Deceitful, the world’s for sure.

Damn! Why should I even bother? Why not leave me in peace? The hell with this conscience! Leave me to rot and perturb me not anymore… never! The Conscience… The mind… The ailing heart… The cause of deep pain and humiliation, known only to you, to your friend , and to God. You could have done something. You could have answered her call. You could have excused yourself from the party. You could have given, maybe could have given, just a few minutes of your precious time. Oh! Your boyfriend could have waited. You could have left the smoky room and gave her your full attention. She could have at least clung to a thin thread of hope, which she might have seen swinging on your upper limbs. She could have at least felt a surge of peace, even just for a few seconds, and could have eradicated that morbid thought away from her clouded mind. You knew it. You sensed it. But you didn't pay attention, thought she was just exaggerating things, jealous perhaps of the happy life you have, and w

August 31, 2013 - A day of indescribable joy : that spells a day of visit at Grace to Be Born. We arrived on the place with our usual aura of cheerfulness. This time was a treat from the birthday celebrator, a dear friend, whose noble cause is to celebrate her birthday at Grace to Be Born. I honestly thought of it as another ordinary visit (my 3rd time), but I was wrong. After visiting the angels (the cute babies in the nursery room), we eagerly gathered at the receiving area where mothers armed with beaming smiles awaited for us. What made it extra special was the little sharing that followed. We went there to share whatever blessing we had, but it turned out to be a completely different story. It was these mothers, the surviving and strong mothers, who evangelized us. Basically starting from scratch, they all have one dream – to rise with head up high and eventually succeed to provide the best possible life for their little one. It was the courage, the determination, t

(A soliloquy written 3 years ago) “You can do it." "No, I can’t!” See? That is how I deal with myself. Confusions, struggles, headaches nag me everyday. I’ve been serving God for 7 years. I started with the Charismatic Renewal Movement community when I was in my 3rd year in college. When I moved to Manila, I was ushered to join the Singles for Christ community. Now, I’m a happy member of the Light of Jesus community, founded and headed by Bro Bo Sanchez himself. The road I am taking is clearly the path that I have chosen. But it doesn’t end there. Am I a happy person? Yes, I am. But it’ll take a long way for me to proudly announce to the world that I am 100% contented with my life now. The root is simple but deadly. SIN. Like a wingless butterfly, I am crippled. My heart has been in anguish for a long time. I don’t know how and why I entered into this state. Deep in my heart, I know that God is the lone answer. But still I cannot bring myself to tota

It came out quite unexpectedly. A friend of mine invited me for an outreach and I readily said “Yes!” Little did I know that what I was expecting to experience was just a mere part of what’s going to be unfolded that day.   We arrived at Grace to Be Born at 8 AM (June 22, 2013). Full of enthusiasm, we started the day with a brief meeting with the institution’s founder – Tito Rey Ortega. Hearing him passionately talk about his mission of caring for the uncared is enough reason to drive one out of his comfort zone and make one want to serve these people. And we all sat mesmerized with his noble work. What is Grace to Be Born? It is an institution which started from a simple idea of taking the initiative to help the world. In what way? Through making unwed pregnant women shun away from the very idea of abortion. The occurrence of aborted babies has been rising statistically, and this had left an impact in the heart of Rey Ortega – the founder. An ordinary man with a big heart f

Are you the person who easily believes that a simple thing that has saved you from an impending danger is a miracle in itself? Or are you the one who readily shrugs a shoulder in saying that these things are mere coincidences? I know of a few people who do self-examination or conscience examination every end of the day. For them, whatever has transpired for that day should be carefully reviewed, or they might miss even just a tiny detail that might spell a big difference in their life for the morrow. And since this requires reflection, it must then be a given that these people form part of the insightful and contemplative individuals. Just a thought. I don’t know what I must have missed if I totally turned my back from the company where I am currently working. But you see? There’s no point of the wishful thinking, for what I am experiencing is simply inexplicable. I have met new friends (the new comers), and I have strengthened whatever bond that did exist loosely before. It’s

A friend once showed me an article on the sacrament of waiting. Having read it, it made me view waiting as something so sacred that you cannot let yourself interfere with it. Indeed, it is true; a year after that, a man came into my life, my “ideal man” without me having the slightest clue of his coming. That was because I respected the sacrament of waiting. But let us not dwell on that. Not all relationships are bound to last as long as you are not with the person God had prepared for you. Reading my book “Quest for Love” by Elisabeth Elliot, I came across an article titled, “The Discipline of Waiting”. Actually, it was my dear friend who highlighted this topic for me to carefully read. One of the passages from the Scripture mentioned there was this: Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him; do not fret. (Psalm 37:7) I thought of how I can put this into action in this fast-paced world. In my human standards, it sounded so idealistic that it became too good to be true . Is

"I was pre-destined to live this kind of life," he told me one summer vacation, with a hint of regret in his voice. He was warmly welcomed into our house when he arrived a day after the start of my summer vacation with my family; all of us siblings were at home then. "Were you?" My lips quivered even before I could hide my irritation. Don't get me wrong. We're enjoying this father-daughter tandem (he's making up for the years he lost when he chose to live with another woman). It was just that I had a sickening feeling of being dragged into his own miseries. Well, I went back to my hometown to enjoy the rest of the summer days with my family, right? I didn't imagine it to be a dramatic one. He lowered his eyes. I didn't like to look at his eyes. I continued. "You're old; I'm sure you don't want to spend the remaining days of your life in misery. You have abandoned us mercilessly, but we have accepted you with forgiveness upon my s

It is easy to shout our praise and thanksgiving to God when we are at the peak of our success. Not a single effort is exerted for our joy comes directly from our jubilant heart. It might be foolish for many a man to still be thankful despite one's trials. "Why should I when my soul suffers from wretchedness and emptiness?" one might ask. The lamentation goes on. Jesus himself tells us of this wonderful passage in 1 Thessalonians 5:18: Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus ( New International Version (©2011) . He did not say "most," nor did he say "some" circumstances. The word " all" here encompasses the tragedies and the victories, the weeping and the merriment. It speaks of the parched desert and of the abundance of rain. It thrives in all the seasons of our life. There is not a single exception. There wouldn't be questions as to why we should be gratified during moments of happiness. T

I Forgive You Dear Wayne, My life has been swept into a storm the moment you said, “It’s enough.” I thought I was okay then. I thought it was just nothing . I thought I could live without ever calling your name or without ever waiting for your calls day in and day out. It was just, let’s say, nothing really well-thought of. And then it happened. What great pain! I was so mad, devastated, hated being with you, cursed the moment you fell in love with me, and considered my life a waste. It was all because of you! And then it came to pass. I decided to just leave you at peace. But I was wrong; I was still hurting when I said I have forgiven you. I was never at peace. I was never complete. Shortly after, Jesus came into the picture, told me it’s enough, and that my crying has to stop. I saw Him smiling at me, with outstretched hand He embraced me, and with a big heart He gave me His peace. Love then slowly came back, and I have started to live again. I have forgiven you, for all the pain

Call it ironic. Yes. It is a scratch-in-the-head-what-happened-to-you-scenario. Experience the joy of letting go. Does this sound rather proverbial or a little out-of-this-world statement? Well, it must be for most of us humanoids. Seriously, what does joy have to do with letting go? Nah. That is just too idealistic, you might say. I respect you for that. But here’s the truth we can’t escape. People live their lives differently, and we each have our own share of turbulence and awakenings. We move, we breathe, and we eat, drink, and work. We all are busy bees in this ever giant hive. As we live and grow, emotions grow as well. As boarders of this planet, we all have to live with whatever means we can. So we live, laugh, and love. And so as the inevitable stalking our every move. Catastrophe creeps in the unknown alcoves of our fate; after having surfaced, it crawls its way towards the center of one’s soul. That’s when choices have to be made. They call it black-and-white; men call i

March 30, 2013 – It was my special day then. After a series of birthday celebrations from one set of friends to another, my fellow young single ladies and I decided to follow the mob – and off we went to the movie house for the exciting romantic sequel of Sarah Geronimo and John Lloyd Cruz’s “It Takes a Man and a Woman.” I remember myself being so curious of the story line. I kept asking myself: What is it this time? I eventually resigned and anxiously waited for the big twist. If being able to cry during the movie is equated with its high quality, then I would gladly give it two thumbs up. But then again, we don’t measure it through the amount of tears we shed. Love, trust, pain, and forgiveness have inhabited my mind since then. Love , for one, is bathed with mystery. It can break all impossibilities. It can bring you to the heights of human emotions that only those who are capable of loving can experience. It is enveloped with magic, with sweet promises, and with the laudable whisp

“I love you, and it is out of love I allow certain situations and events to happen, to show you that without Me you are nothing. I allow these events to happen to keep you near Me and lean on Me. I want you to trust Me.” - Jesus’ message to Vassula Ryden dated Jan. 30, 1990 (from the book True Life in GOD) I have been hibernating in my self-made cocoon for the past two weeks! But instead of relaxing, I am feeding myself with God’s words, chewing every bit of it. I bought a book titled True Life in God 4 years ago. I just happened to catch a glimpse of it inside National Bookstore. Curiosity kicked in, and half an hour later, I was heading my way to the cashier. I remember being so “in love” with Jesus at that time. Smiles…smiles…smiles. Fast-forward… I fell in love afterwards, turned my back to God (I was too focused on that man that it only hit me recently how I had chosen him over God), and got hit so low that I remained flat on the ground for quite some time. So here I am now,

"Would you like to go with me to The Feast?" asked my boss. "I would love to, Ma'am," I answered with a smile. Those lines marked the start of a beautiful friendship. That happened 3 years ago. In short, this mentor-mentee relationship has already taken root through those years. I used to call her Mom for all the right reasons. She was an answered prayer. She paved the way to my dreams. She cleared my path to spirituality. She eased the tension built by the people around. Gradually, she had become a Mother to me. Yes, because she deserves to become one. Inch by inch, she made her way to my heart. When triumphs follow me, she rejoices with me. When the battlefield nears me, she is always there to tag along, not to fight with me but to storm the heaven with her prayers. When tears just fall from my eyes, she is a comfort and a solace. When darkness threatens to blind me, she serves as the lighthouse to guide me through. When life is all but challenges, she pa

Between now and tomorrow lie uncertainties, and that is where life’s paradox dwells. We are taught to work hard for something we want done. We start to believe that there is a somewhere where all dreams meet as one. We heed the signs that seem to lead us to that one destination. We ignore the hindrances to keep focused. There is nothing stopping us to move forward. And then we give our partial best in any area of our life. We live, laugh, and love to experience that momentary bliss. That is NOW. But tomorrow doesn’t come in quickly. In between the two is a small crack, a gap, where countless heavings and sighings are witnessed. This is that one instance when doubt suddenly crowds our hopeful minds. When we suddenly realize that we are not equipped enough for the battle that awaits us. It is when life’s crossroads are met. The end of the tunnel is seen, but the only thread of hope we are clinging into is as dark as a starless night. Negativities creep in and consume most of the powe

I used to think about the real meaning of LOVE. And as usual, figuring it out isn’t an easy thing. As I grew older, things have changed somehow. Gradually, piece by piece, I feel the puzzle of love is nearing completion. As experiences come one after another, so do lessons and learning that have taken root in my soul. I have come to understand that I have been blessed with the opportunity to grow with my pupils. Slowly, I have realized, there is so much wisdom in these young minds. And since it is February, Love Month, I asked them to define love. Well, I was expecting the usual childish stuff, but it turned out the other way around, for these are things that I have somehow forgotten along the way to adulthood. Through careful observation and innocent reflection, my cherished 11-year old pupils gave me these definitions of love: - True love is not to be found, only to be felt. I did not give flowers to someone because I haven’t felt true love. And for me, it’s not something you can

(For my class – Gr 5 Simplicity) Victory isn’t luck; it is earned and gained. I thought it would be me guiding my pupils all throughout the week-long sports fest; it turned out the other way around. Divine Light Academy’s most-awaited event, Palaro 2012-2013, took place last Feb. 4-8, 2013. And it really was fun. I had thought of it as a mere bonding time with my pupils, but my advisory class had shown me things I never really took notice of. Two days before the opening, we scheduled a 3-hour practice in whatever sports they were assigned to compete for. Everyone was eager enough to prepare that they arrived in their full sports attire. (You should have seen them!) And yes, it was a fun morning for all of us. Then the opening came; I was as excited as they were. I was wearing my class’ official jersey. Wearing a bright smile on our faces, we headed off to the parade. The program that followed was more than what we expected. Everyone was really set into high energy level. C

My life is a pilgrimage to the unknown. True, my life is a gift from the Divine. But every moment of my existence is flooded with uncertainties. There are things that would seem irrelevant, but are actually part of a bigger puzzle that has yet to be completed. I was seated on a bench inside De La Salle University’s campus reading Paulo Coelho’s “Aleph”. I recounted being excited about it, then falling back to the routine of leaving it in one corner of my room for dust to accumulate. I was too engrossed with every line, every syllable vibrating in my head, sensing the urgency to act on my life NOW. Knowing your personal legend. Following your heart. Listening to the soul of the Universe. All these things boil to one: living your purpose. A state of euphoria washed over me, for somehow a portion of my being has been revealed. “Listen to the signs,” as Paulo Coelho would say. Yes, signs. They surround us, until that one instant when that sign hits you directly that there is no other way

God is… Even when nothing makes sense “Who is God?” asked a pained man. My answer … God is… the rejoicing Father when you were born God is… the Wisdom that guides you as you mature God is… the Friend who stays by your side no matter what God is… the Hope when tomorrow seems to never come God is… the Light when darkness seems to swallow you God is… the Knight-in-shining armor when escape is impossible God is… the Merciful Angel when the world has grown so cruel God is… the Love that gives you joy and delight God is… the Creator your creator our creator whose infinite wisdom and love for humanity has made us whole. Whenever you are in doubt, pray Whenever you are troubled, call on Him Whenever you are despaired, let Him comfort you. When God seems distant, He actually isn’t When tribulations come and go, He is there to tag along When the storms of life threaten to drown you, He watches over you. When sleep seems so far away, let Him cradle you When the world brings tears to your

10 days – Realizations came one after another. If I would look back, I might have giggled to see myself in such a desperate situation, face in an exasperated expression, and looking so pitiful in that dire misery. SMILES… I saw those as the promise of 2013. For that moment was a turning point. I had thought of it as a punishment, but then I saw that it wasn’t. Oh! It was actually a lovely renewal… of my love for God. It seemed impossible; but now that I’ve been into such a dreadful situation, I somehow understood this line: “In the midst of pain and suffering, praise God!” That I did without me realizing it. I had nothing to hold onto but my faith in God. I had no one, not even my parents, to whom I could whisper the deepest desire of my heart. I learned to call Him and to rely on Him desperately. Day after day, He would carry me in His arms. When negativities came, I would call His name frantically. Lo! I would feel Him touching my heart, easing the pain until it was totally gone

“The most important experiences a man can have are those that take him to the very limit; that is the only way we learn, because it requires all our courage.” - Eleven Minutes (Paulo Coelho) The only major trial I have had for the past years of my life had come so stealthily; it left me shattered, devastated. The once close-to-perfect divine partnership had come to an end abruptly, and nothing else could be worse than experiencing it during the Christmas season. For once, Christmas had lost its meaning. Rising from that sudden tragedy seemed impossible. Queries were thrown, some remain unanswered. I had him minutes ago; I unexpectedly lost him without any clue. Giving your heart and soul to someone so special is indeed a risk, and I did risk everything, including my happiness. It was at this point when I prayed to God so desperately, begging for answers, inducing miracles, and pleading for rescue when the pain bore deep in my heart. Weeping was part of it. I was in a terrible emotiona