Letters of Acceptance, Forgiveness, and Love

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I Forgive You

Dear Wayne,

My life has been swept into a storm the moment you said, “It’s enough.” I thought I was okay then. I thought it was just nothing. I thought I could live without ever calling your name or without ever waiting for your calls day in and day out. It was just, let’s say, nothing really well-thought of.

And then it happened. What great pain! I was so mad, devastated, hated being with you, cursed the moment you fell in love with me, and considered my life a waste. It was all because of you!

And then it came to pass. I decided to just leave you at peace. But I was wrong; I was still hurting when I said I have forgiven you. I was never at peace. I was never complete.

Shortly after, Jesus came into the picture, told me it’s enough, and that my crying has to stop. I saw Him smiling at me, with outstretched hand He embraced me, and with a big heart He gave me His peace. Love then slowly came back, and I have started to live again.

I have forgiven you, for all the pain, the shattered promises, the sweet whispers gone with the wind, the now empty words of love and affirmation. I have forgiven you… for breaking my heart and soul, for bringing sleepless nights into my abode, for that total withdrawal which had left me broken.

I have forgiven you, for I now have seen the beauty beyond the turmoil. I have now realized the blessing after the storm. I have come to meet God and rest in Him in a very special way.

I have forgiven you, and that probably is the reason why I have totally welcomed you in my life again, as a friend, and never an enemy.

From a heart that knows what letting go means,

Dolly

Please Forgive Me

Dear Wayne,

I was the apple of your eye. I was the darling in your heart. I was your star. I was your true love.

I received so much love from you. I received so much respect and attention. I basked in the ocean of your love, so pure and real, so ideal, so romantic.

But I wasn’t the perfect partner. I believed we were meant to be, or rather, we are meant to be. But that fact alone made me so lame. I have had my share of love; I know you’ve felt it deeply. However, it wasn’t the best me. Now that we’re apart, I have realized how imperfect I was, how selfish I was, how mean I was, and how egocentric I was.

I didn’t appreciate you when I was supposed to compliment you. I didn’t offer you an approving look when I was supposed to support you. I didn’t return your smile when I was supposed to give you one. And somewhere along the way, I dragged you to purgatory when we were supposed to be in heavenly bliss. That was me.

Please forgive me if I haven’t grown to be the best girlfriend. Please forgive me for the times when I simply ignored your presence. Please forgive me when I chose to pout and frown. Please forgive me when I opted to tease you instead of affirm you. Please forgive me for the hurtful words I uttered; you only had a smile to give despite my childishness.

I thought I have loved you enough, but my actions failed to show the status of my heart. I have loved you truly, but I haven’t shown enough. Have I wasted your time and effort? That I’m not sure of. I simply failed to show you that you are worth all the loving.

Parting time has come, and it’s time to say goodbye. If I have hurt you badly, please forgive me. Along with this end comes a promise, yes a promise, of truly loving despite one’s weaknesses, and of not equating time for love, but of equating love to ETERNITY.

With a humble heart I beg your forgiveness,

Dolly

I Hate You but I Love You

Dear Wayne,

Loving is probably the sweetest but the most complicated recipe of life. But what about loving the one you hate? Isn’t it an act of cruelty to oneself?

You must have known along the way, that I would have hated you if you chose to break my heart. But that happened, and it did shatter me. I hated you then. I cursed you out of much hatred. I hated to even mention your name. I hated the thought of knowing that you were with somebody else.

Oh! How I broken I was then.

Months passed, and here I am, honestly confessing my love for you. But letting go I have finally embraced. I couldn’t force you to love me again. I couldn’t be near your heart as long as I wish, for you simply are an individual, with your own free will and with your own heart that has known both true love and fading love.

How could I not love you still? You had shown me nothing but genuine love. I was the sole recipient, but now that it seems I no longer am, I still love you in spite of the bitter truth.

I have gone all the way from being a simple girl to a sweet and thoughtful lady. I gradually matured in your arms. For all the things you’ve done, how can I not love you still?

I simply am true to myself. I didn’t know that this boat of sacrifice would ever come in this lifetime. Now that I’m here, it is but fitting for me to say that I have loved; and though I’ve been hurt, I have hoped… for all the best that are yet to come.

With all my dreams and simple wishes, my soul will continue to shout my words of love, a love that was once ordinary, but has now become a gem in my soul, for all that it is capable of doing.

I hated you, but I do love you still.

Truly yours,

Dolly

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